krisaeighteen

im having this so-called PMS lately and my mood is all over the place. i’ve been mean to everyone who got into my skin. and so the list go on and on. you know how it goes. :p this morning is no different from the others lately, im so down and lazy. but then i managed to contact my sisters and my parents just to keep up with their lives since i haven’t talked to them in quite some time now, expecially my baby girl and my mom. i called them thru facetime and all the sadness and happiness came in on me, i miss my baby girl so much ( when i say baby girl i mean our bunso ü ) i miss taking care of her, baby girl is malambing in a way. she likes to cuddle in a boyish kind of way :) i miss her to bits. and of course my mom, well i have this thing that i already got used to the fact that mom’s not here so i kind of used to missing her. so when i miss her it means i really miss her.

im jelous of my sisters who happens to live with my parents now after 13 years :) ( my parents are seprated so my baby girl lives with my mom and jiL lives with dad. ) i wanna see them and hug them tightly and i dont ever wanna let go. its so hard being here all alone but then what can i do? what can they do? im over that fact already i kind of accepted the fact that im here and they are there. i just wanna be happy and i know they are too. im also kind of used to being strong for them. im the ate so i know that they are depending on me so im used to being strong for them so they will be too. i know that they miss me too. we are all happy and all is well. seeing them on facetime or oovoo is clearly enough for me to lift all the sadness in me. so here i am full of happiness because of them.

i grew up trying my best to accept things that i know i have no control over. instead of crying and locking myself up all day i choose to be happy bealcause i know someday we will all be together and everything will fall perfectly into its place. i dont like dwelling on things that hurts me when i know i have so many wonderful things to be happy. its just a mtter of choice. so choose wisely.